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b.good newsletter #27 -- name our new bacon burger

Hey Everyone,

Life's all about decisions. (Even if that life is spent in a fast-food restaurant huddled around an air-fryer with Brazilian soccer fanatics, it's still all about decisions.)

Democrat, republican, or green party? Boxers, briefs, or those weird, hybrid spandex things (those feel nice)?

And a way more important one - pork bacon, turkey bacon, or no bacon?

It's a complex decision about smoked meat that we all come to at some point in our lives. And for us, it came a few months ago when we received this customer email from b.good family member, Tim O'Brien.

For months since that email, bacon, and all her crispy beauty, mystified us.

And to try to come up with an answer, we did what any business does when it can't make a decision... We held company meetings to debate the culinary merits of pork versus turkey. We stuffed our faces with pounds of crispy, salty pork and turkey in the name of corporate research. We screamed insults at each other, punched ourselves in the head in frustration over bacon's great mystery, and stared stupidly at slabs of smoked meat for months waiting for some kind of fast-food epiphany.

And then, all of a sudden it hit us. We remembered who we are and why we're here and suddenly, we realized that the decision was easy.

See, since the whole reason for our existence is to make "real" food, we had to use real bacon. It couldn't be turkey, tofu, or any other bacon-imposter that's not a direct descendant of the glorious "other white meat".

So, we scoured the pork industry and found the leanest bacon around that's all-natural, nitrate- and nitrite-free, and completely beautiful. (Basically, that means we're using "real", fresh bacon that you can feel good about eating and that'll never sit in a kryovac bag for months or drip fat. Our bacon is lean and strong, just like you.)

And now, for the first time ever, we're putting it on top of a house-ground, hand-packed burger. (We're also going to top our new burger with a homemade, low-fat jalapeno-ranch sauce, lettuce, tomato, and onion.)

But, even though we've made a new burger, we can't officially add it to the menu until one of you names it.

Click to tell us what to name our new burger.

The best name wins a place in fast-food immortality and BACON-JALAPENO-RANCH BURGERS FREE FOR A YEAR.

And naturally, we made a video to honor the slice of lean, all-natural pork that made this all possible. Watch the video.

Since you can't invent a fit and proper name for a bacon burger without eating it, we want you all to come down here tonight and be the first to taste our newest house-ground, hand-packed creation before it goes on sale tomorrow.

So, come down anytime tonight, July 29th from 5-10 pm in Back Bay or Harvard Square, and eat our new, name-less bacon burger for free.

Just click to print out the stupid, little picture of bacon, come see us tonight, and find some free burger-naming inspiration.

No copies of someone else's bacon picture allowed. So, if you want to bring people with you, make sure they've joined our family before coming. Tonight, the only people eating lean, all-natural bacon on their burgers will be our beloved kin.

As always, if you know anyone who'd enjoy a year of free bacon burgers or anyone who just wants to be loved like family, forward this and tell them to join ours at www.bgood.com.

Anthony & Jon

P.S. While every month we show our family how much we love them, July is that special time when passion overcomes us and we invite you all to party with us on the 4th of July.

This Tuesday, July 4th, we're hosting our 2nd Annual "Family BBQ" so that each and every one of you can come celebrate your independence by drinking, eating, dancing, and singing with the people who grind your burgers. (Click to see disturbing highlights of last year's event.) If you don't already have plans, we'd love to have you and whoever's crazy enough to want to come with you.

But since the party will be held in Anthony's pathetic excuse for a back yard, and since we are inviting close to 3,000 people, we need to plan accordingly. (We probably need to plan for a night in the local jail, but that is secondary to the amount of beer we will need to buy.) So, if you're going to be able to stop by, just RSVP by responding to this email. We'll send you all the details and directions ASAP.

P.P.S. And if that's not enough love for you, July is also that special time for getting strange t-shirts with Uncle Faris' face on them. This year, we've found a b.good customer who's a professional t-shirt designer. He's creating this year's limited edition Faris print that we'll be giving away with next month's newsletter.