Why Is She The Champ?

After two years of the shame and self-loathing that comes with giving away mass quantities of free food and a championship belt to the patrons who humiliated us, we decided to sit out of our own 3rd annual garlicky-greens eating championship. (Yes, we are sad.)

But, it’s a good thing we did since there was a psychotic human spinach-vacuum named Popeye (a.k.a Gretchen Salyer) in this year’s contest.

Simply put, we’ve never seen anything like it and hope to never see anything like it again. Popeye was a machine. She did not stop. She did not talk. She did not breathe. She just chewed and crushed and ate the life out of everything that got in her way.

Shocking the competitive sautéed-spinach eating world, Popeye dominated all 8 challengers, embarrassed the reigning champ, and overcame the natural human instinct to vomit from overdosing on a sautéed vegetable to smash the world record.

That type of effort guarantees that Popeye won’t ever again be just another fast-food customer.

She’ll always be a champion.